Cry if You Want To
Cry If You Want To
Attending therapy for the first time can evoke a variety of emotions and feelings – anticipation, nervousness, hopefulness, uncertainty, and even apprehension. It takes a lot of courage to be open with someone about your innermost thoughts and feelings, especially with someone you are meeting for the first time. You might be genuinely surprised if you cry during therapy, and this might follow with feelings of embarrassment or shame. You might even apologize to your therapist, the person who is there to support you with zero judgement!
It is common to feel embarrassed when emotions surface, especially when they result in tears. However, it is important to recognize that crying is a healthy step towards healing. It often signifies the release of bottled-up emotions that help you better understand yourself. Yet crying has been stigmatized as a sign of weakness, in accordance with age, social status, culture, and gender. Crying is surrounded by various stereotypes that shape how it has been perceived over time.
Common Stereotypes About Crying:
- Femininity – The stereotype that crying is a behavior associated more with women, reinforcing the idea that women are more “fragile” than men.
Ex: “Only girls cry”
- Attention- seeking – The stereotype that someone who cries in public is using it as an act of manipulation or attention-seeking.
Ex: “Don’t be so dramatic”
- Weakness – Crying can be viewed as weakness in cultures or communities that pride themselves in restraining emotion.
Ex: “Keep a stiff upper lip!”
- Masculinity – Men specifically may face the stereotype that crying and showing vulnerability is wrong. This can discourage men from sharing their feelings openly.
Ex: “Real men don’t cry”
- Crying is for children – The stereotype that people grow out of crying as they get older. This can lead to feeling shame or embarrassed for expressing “childish” emotions.
Ex: “Don’t be a cry baby”
Therapists view crying as an opportunity for healing and growth. It is normal to cry in a therapeutic environment, especially if you have been suppressing your emotions. Crying is like releasing pressure valve of stress and built-up tension. It is a natural response to intense feelings that manifest into vulnerability. It demonstrates that you are allowing yourself to process your emotions, which is essential for personal growth. Your therapist is there to validate your feelings in a safe, non-judgemental, and empathetic environment. Ultimately, crying in therapy is a sign that trust is being built with your therapist as you gain new insights about yourself.
Blog Post Written by: Jenny Lyons-Mouyios, Counsellor with Wildflowers
