Pet Grief: Honouring the Connection
Pet Grief: Honouring the Connection
While the word “pet” can seem deductive as a label to describe our beloved animals, I use this term in this post to describe the animals that we have built connections with. Losing a pet is a complex experience, just like any other type of loss in life. Grief is the experience of loss, not just death. Whether the loss of your pet has come in the form of them passing away or not being able to see them anymore due to various circumstances, it is important to honour the connection that you and your pet have experienced together.
Often people feel that their pet grief is not valid and feel the need to “get past it”, however the connection that we have with our pets is deep, unconditional and when we lose them, we lose a big part of our routines in life and an unconditional loving companion, so it is valid to feel the loss of your pet deeply. This feeling of pet grief not feeling valid is not imaginary, as pet grief can often fall under the category of something called Disenfranchised Grief. All types of grief have the capacity to full under this category, however some are more likely than others. Disenfranchised grief is when we receive messages from society, friends’ family, workplaces, and media that we do not have permission to grieve the way we need to (Haley & Williams, 2022). Recognizing how we engage with these messages can be helpful to understand how we are processing our pet grief.
Ways to help process pet grief
- Honouring this loss, the way you would with other losses.
- Taking time off from things as needed
- Creating rituals to help feel connected to your pet, i.e., acknowledging your pet in a way that works for you – saying good morning, touching something that reminds you of them, etc.
- Creating a memorial space/altar
- Write a letter to your pet and your relationship to them.
- Talking about your pet who you lost and using their name.
- Check out pet grief resources – some of my favourites are;
Beth Bigler – Pet Grief Counsellor – Instagram and website: Honoring Our Animals.
The Regina Humane Society also has a great list of resources for adults and children https://reginahumanesociety.ca/pet-loss-support/
References
Haley, E., & Williams, L. (2022). What’s your grief? Lists to help you through any type of loss. Quirk Books.
Blog Post Written by: Jazlynn McGrath, Counsellor with Wildflowers
